Years ago, someone came to me with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She was the first person I had worked with with this debility. I was fascinated to read the flow of energy from her energy centres because they were so clear, so different and so illuminating to me.
In a state of fainting, the flow of energy flattens out into a plate shape. After a car crash or in a state of shock, we feel very weak – and sometimes pass out altogether – because we are unable to draw in our life force through the energy centres. Instead of feeling like a small fountain, a spout, this person presented the flat plate energy centre. It came to me that her life was so awful because she was in a partial yet permanent (now habitual) state of semi-faint. This had been triggered by a terrible car crash and, somehow, she had never recovered her healthy energy flow.
And she was also the first person I had come across, who, in answer to everything I said, said, “Yes, but….” I spent hours and hours of time with her, seemingly getting nowhere.
A dear friend who is a nursing sister, long used to the ways of people, said to me, “When someone answers what you say with “Yes, but”, stop talking immediately because there is nothing you can tell them!” I took me a long time to find out that she is right.
I had a man see me for the four times that I requested. He seemed to understand how I work and that if he worked with me, he could rebuild the flow of his own energy centres by alterations to his life style and thinking habits. He asked a lot of questions. He nodded and added really intuitive things. I was pleased, feeling understood. Yet, whenever he left, I felt drained. I couldn’t work this out – until the last session. On the last occasion, he kept me talking for two hours! It “clicked” that he was a monstrous “Yes, butter” and yet he had never once actually said those words. How he did it, was to ask me to explain how I would apply my words to his life, When I suggested possible solutions he would then, in detail, elaborate on how he could do it until it sounded like a parody.
Many people live behind high buttresses of “Yes, buts”. They build the whole construction themselves. I call it a buttress not only because of the play on words but because all the “Yes, buts” are in reality shoring up a very shaky inner being.
Every time we say “Yes, but” we affirm to ourselves that our old idea is best and that the new idea being presented to us is okay to a degree but not entirely and so that is why we cannot follow it through into being a useful tool for our own change. For underlying all “Yes, buts” is the principle of not wanting to change. Change is scary, it takes effort, it threatens the foundation of all that we have built up inside ourselves for our whole lives, that we have shored up and buttressed into our innermost part.
Continued in Yes but….2……